(Mis)interpreted

As of late I have been pushing myself to utilize self control more. Purchasing "needs" only and leaving those "wants" on the shelf, pushing myself to finish assignments and leave the xbox off, eating out less, and getting to bed at a reasonable time are ways that I've been implementing this control of my often irresponsible self. I'm working on this to better myself for myself. It has nothing to do with my outward appearance or what others think of me, it's just to help keep me from going crazy when life gets stressful.

In one particular situation, however, I found myself utilizing this self control in an attempt to avoid emotional conflict (or whatever the hell you wanna call it). This self control was (mis)interpreted as inexperience because my actions were hesitant and calculated. I'm borderline insulted by this to be completely honest. It's disgusting that our own social norms contain negative expectations of how people (men and women alike) should behave in a situation. 

For instance, a woman utilizes self control whilst in the company of a man she doesn't know very well. This man views it as inexperience. He has become programmed to interpret this situation in such a manner due to the "loose" expectations he has for women. (This is a general example, stop making assumptions about my personal life weirdo.) Now, I understand that there is no one to blame for this other than women themselves and in order to avoid a lengthy, possibly never-ending rant, I'm not even gonna go there. This conflict has just been bouncing around in my nogin and in attempt to help it rest, I'm sharing it with all of you.